----- Original Message -----
From: Jim ODonnell <jod@bt-pacific.co.nz>
To: John Pronk <jmp@bt-pacific.co.nz>
Sent: Friday, May 26, 2000 2:50 AM
Subject: Fw: TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM A MAN WHO'S HAD ENOUGH . . .

>
>
> TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM A MAN WHO'S HAD ENOUGH . . .
>
> If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to
> answer.
>
> Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.
>
> If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
act
> like soap opera guys.
>
> Don't cut your hair. Ever.  Long hair is always more attractive than short
> hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married
women
> always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
>
> Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can
> find the perfect present yet again!
>
> If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
> don't want to hear.
>
> Sometimes, we're not thinking about you.  Live with it. Don't ask us what
> we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as;
> politics, women or sports.
>
> Sunday = sports.  It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
> Let it be.
>
> Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that
way.
>
> When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
> Really.
>
> You have enough clothes.
>
> You have too many shoes.
>
> Crying is blackmail.
>
> Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't
work.
> Strong hints don't work.  Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!
>
> No, we don't know what day it is. We never will.  Mark anniversaries on
the
> calendar.
>
> Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes.
>
> Most guys own three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we'd be any good
at
> choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
>
> Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
>
> Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we
> do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
> A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
>
> Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
>
> Check your oil.
>
> It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.
> No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
>
> Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments
> become null and void after 7 days.
>
> If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes
> you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
>
> Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.
>
> You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something but
> not both.
>
> Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
>
> ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
>
> Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
>
> If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
> wrong.  We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
>
> What the hell is a doily?
>
>