Seems that KY Jelly was that mechanic's most used 'tool' :)
Get outather fast!!!

Bill

----- Original Message -----
From: "PSavage" <psavage@saber.net>
To: <vanagon@GERRY.VANAGON.COM>
Sent: Friday, August 11, 2000 10:40 AM
Subject: My Vanagon Visits the Gynecologist

> The landscapped parking lot of the German Repair Shop so resembled that of
> my Gynecologist, I was momentarily confused.
> But no, there was my courtesy loaner car, parked just outside a glass
> enclosed reception area.  I blinked.
> The Receptionist smiled efficiently at me across a cutglass bowl of
> individually wrapped peppermints.  I was promted to quickly read & sign
the
> insurance disclaimer,  then handed a list of  Courtesy Car Loaner Do's &
> Dont's.
> Anxiously, I clutched my list of questions for The Mechanic,
> whom I'd yet to meet.  For my first appointment,  I'd requested a thorough
> examination of the vehicle & all its parts & systems.
> I wanted a complete report, so I could prioritize work to be
> done, parts to be ordered, costs to be considered.
> Shop labor charges:   $75 per hour.
> I tried not to wince.
> I could see they did everything possible to make the experience as
painless
> as possible.   If I was a good girl, & didn't squirm,  I might not even
feel
> a thing.
> I asked to meet The Mechanic/Shop Owner.
> A tall, well-built, middle aged man--handsome enough for a Midas
> commercial--appeared behind a sparkling display case filled with shiny new
> VW parts.   'We keep all parts in stock",
> he said,  "it's rare we have to order parts."
>  When I'd called for this appointment,  I'd made a point of asking  if
> customer-supplied parts were permitted.  I had been told that they were.
> "Not so,"  according to my Gynecologist,  I mean  Mechanic.
> Twice I interrupted his animated rant on  loss & profit margins  to remind
> him to look for possible causes of my van's intermittent power
loss/cutting
> out problem.   The Reason I Was There.
> Like a Kaiser MD with one eye on the minute hand, he drummed the glass
with
> his immaculate fingertips.
> He was of the AMA board certified school of car care.
> And he could see I was not his sort of customer.
> I blinked twice.  But the white lab coat, surgical gloves, & big tube of
KY
> jelly were only a hallucination.
> Feeling a little sad & anxious,  all the more so for having driven two
hours
> to reach this shop, I left my Vanagon alone for her first
> examination.
> Upon my return, I was handed my bill:  Inspection $150.
> I was given a long typed list of recommended repairs.
> I read down the list.  I gulped.
> It noted that my Aux battery was found to be *totally dry.*
> Just to be sure, I asked the Mechanic/Owner if he had added
> water to the dry battery.
> "Oh no,"  he said,  "you asked for examination only.  That would
constitute
> a repair."
> He wanted to give me his sales pitch for the Interstate batteries
> he sells & installs,  but I was already on my way out the door.
> I grabbed a fistful a peppermints from the cut glass bowl.
> There was a bad taste in my mouth.
>
> Phaedra
> '85 Westy-Wolf
> "Hester"
>