Dear Would-Be Usurper of our federally registered mark:

You are hereby ORDERED by general counsel for $CRAP Industries to cease and
desist from further attempts to infringe upon our mark.  Be advised not
only will we pursue this legally, but also we have been known often to take
the law into our own hands--the hands of masters, at that.

Even though YOU the alleged inventor of the great State of North Carolina
claim to be the owner, as far as the records are concerned, and the world
at large, WE at  $CRAP Industries own this name and every appurtenance to
it.  Do not attempt to foil us.  Our plan was created by one of the
foremost authorities in the world on legal manuevering.  You will not
succeed.

Sincerely,
$CRAP INDUSTRIES

(fur nachtes freitag)
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