> someone on the list, in sheerest ignorance, asked:
> I wanna go to OLD Zealand.  Anyone know where it is?

 there is no Olde Zealand. the name "New Zealand" is a tragic example
of historical blundering and miscommunication.

 the boat that "discovered" New Zealand was a crew of ... well ...
unsavory characters, most of which had been paroled from European
prisons specifically for that voyage. qualified crewmembers were hard
to find at that time, and shipowners were rather desparate, so they
paid off the prison sentences/fines/bribes of anyone who had even seen
a sailing ship, and stuck them on a boat before they woke up ... er,
wised up.
this was the crew of the Endeavour, captained by James Cook, in 1768.

 in about October of 1769, the ship reached what is now known as New
Zealand. it was late at night when the north island was seen by the
lookout waaaaaay up in the crow's nest of the ship ... unfortunately
for history, this lookout had somewhat of a mental deficiency (which
is why he was waaaay up there, all alone). and the helmsman on duty
was hard of hearing. so when the lookout called out "Hey, Boss... de
land, de land!!!" the helmsman, whose name was Waycross, thinking in
his own native tongue, heard "Waycross, Zee Land, Zee Land".

 so the helmsman ties down the wheel of the ship, runs down into the
captain's cabin and wakes up the captain, yelling "Zee Land, Zee
land". so the captain gets kinda riled at the crew for naming the
place before he got a chance, and flogged them all. :)

 a dimwitted cook receives credit for the naming of a major city area
... when coming topside to throw the garbage over, he was startled by
the sudden appearance of land and managed to gurgle "Auck!! Land!!!",
much to the amusement of captain and crew. so they named the place
Auckland. :)

 but New Zealand had been "discovered" years before by another ship
navigated by Abdul Tasman (Tasmania, get it?) and that same ship had
discovered Tasmania, which they stupidly named Van Dieman's Land,
after the rather uppity "administratige support" person for the
voyage. that discovery was in 1642. just goes to show: if you've got
enough money, you can get anything named after you. :)

 unca joel
historian, philosopher, bowery bum. :)