Damn! So, what did she say?

-----Original Message-----
From: Stan Wilder <wilden1@juno.com>
To: vanagon@GERRY.VANAGON.COM <vanagon@GERRY.VANAGON.COM>
Date: Monday, May 14, 2001 2:21 PM
Subject: Met The Westy owner from OZ

>I took a look at an 81 Westfalia today that was advertized for $5000.00
>US Dollars.
>The lady on the phone raved about how nice the unit was. I was really
>curious.
>I'd be willing to pay five grand for a show quality westy so I couldn't
>let this one pass.
>Here is my report.
>#1 cylinder 58PSI
>#2 cylinder 40PSI
>#3 cylinder 00000000 PSI
>#4 cylinder 40PSI
>FI Wireloom burned out, alternator wire loom burned out.
>AC wired direct to the battery, wires fried, belts greasy and worn almost
>completely through.
>Sliding door handle missing, holdback broken.
>Front seats covered with sheepskin covers, they needed to be hidden.
>No spare tire, 1 bent wheel. No hubcaps.
>Rear bumper missing. Southern Mexico trailer hitch installed, bent pretty
>good crushing the rear body panel.
>Aftermarket exhaust, no emissions, no catalytic converter, no crossover
>pipe. No chance of getting an inspection sticker.
>Both front turn/park lights taped up and holding water.
>Engine covered in fresh blown out oil top and bottom.
>Star Wars plumbing for LP Gas regulator.
>Refigerator had been removed more than once, was loose in the Sink, Stove
>console. Console showed pry bar marks on both sides.
>Holes both sides of pop-up canvas, pinched too many times.
>Pop-up gaskets and seals stuck on with blue silicone.
>Wrong spark plug wires (resistance set)
>New Battery!
>Very clean engine oil, could hardly see it on the stick.
>Oversize oil drain plug installed.
>K-MART oil filter.
>Both front vent windows missing latches.
>Both gas cylinders on rear hatch dead.
>Oil filler cap missing.
>Rubber grommet on dip stick missing.
>Radio antena broken off at base.
>Sun Visors in neutral position straight down and floppy.
>Rear view mirror hazed over and back side of plastic broken out.
>She said "It won't start right now, the alternator is out"
>Last registered 1998, same inspection date.
>I properly insulted her by offering a salvage price and wrote up a list
>of repairs very similar to this report.
>I told her I would estimate that it would cost between $2 and $3 grand to
>make this vehicle worth owning, and dependable with a state inspection.
>
>Stan Wilder
>83 Westfalia Air Cooled