(AP New York)

    Ex-President Clinton was seen driving the streets of New York in a
freshly imported 2001 South African vanagon.  Joe Lockhart, the
president's press secretary spoke to reporters soon after the van passed
by, "President Clinton has always had an affinity for the unattainable.
He pulled a few strings with some chums over at the DOT to get this
sweet little number imported and fully street legal.  Whotta guy!"
The presidents van was later seen several blocks away with it's optional
Wolfsburg 'nighty night' drapes in full surround mode, several
passerby's said the van appeared to be a-rockin.  Grandmother Agnes
Lockhorn was visibly alarmed by this obvious public display of affection
and declared her relief that "the country doesn't have to worry about
those kind of shenanigans going on in the white House anymore, thank God
we have president Bush as a shining beacon of moral righteousness!"
Minutes later Ms. Lockhorn was reported to have been apprehended by
secret service agents having attempted a 'peep' through the van's rear
window.