I would really like to comment on this post.  But I can't.  First, ROTF,
LMAO.  And second I can't think of anything clever enough to compare with
it.
Darn.

Mike

> From: Joel Walker <jwalker17@EARTHLINK.NET>
> Organization: not likely
> Reply-To: Joel Walker <jwalker17@EARTHLINK.NET>
> Date: Fri, 7 Sep 2001 22:32:44 -0500
> To: vanagon@GERRY.VANAGON.COM
> Subject: Re: Is there any way...
>
> On Fri, 7 Sep 2001 Karl "speaks with forked tongue" Wolz sed:
>>>> Photonic Energy Transfer Rate.
>> Need I say more?<<
>
> Thence replied in kind, John "us idiots?" Baker ...
>> For us idiots, YES!
>
> PETR is related to DST ... Dark Sucker Theory.
>
> For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light.
> However, recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise.
> Electric bulbs don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call
> these bulbs dark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell
> Labs spokesperson, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass
> heavier than that of light, and that dark is faster than light.
>
> The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark.
> Take for example, the dark suckers in the room where you are. There is
> less dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the
> dark sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a
> parking lot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room.
> As with all things, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are
> full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the black
> spot on a full dark sucker. A candle is a primitive dark sucker. lA
> new candle has a white wick. You will notice that after the first use,
> the wick turns black, representing all the dark which has been sucked
> into it. If you hold a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle,
> the tip will turn black because it got in the path of the dark flowing
> into the candle. Unfortunately, these primitive dark suckers have a
> very limited range. There are also portable dark suckers. The bulbs in
> these can't handle all of the dark by themselves, and must be aided by
> a dark storage unit. When the dark storage unit is full, it must be
> either emptied or replaced before the portable dark sucker can operate
> again.
>
> Dark has mass. When dark goes into a dark sucker, friction from this
> mass generates heat. Thus it is not wise to touch an operating dark
> sucker. Candles present a special problem, as the dark must travel in
> the solid wick instead of through glass. This generates a great amount
> of heat. Thus it can be very dangerous to touch an operating candle.
> Dark is also heavier than light. If you swim deeper and deeper, you
> notice it gets slowly darker and darker. When you reach a depth of
> approximately fifty feet, you are in total darkness. This is because
> the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light
> floats to the top. The immense power of dark can be utilized to mans
> advantage. We can collect the dark that has settled to the bottom of
> lakes and push it through turbines, which generate electricity and
> help push it to the ocean where it may be safely stored. Prior to
> turbines, it was much more difficult to get dark from the rivers and
> lakes to the ocean. The Indians recognized this problem, and tried to
> solve it. When on a river in a canoe travelling in the same direction
> as the flow of the dark, they paddled slowly, so as not to stop the
> flow of dark, but when they traveled against the flow of dark, they
> paddled quickly so as to help push the dark along its way.
>
> Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to
> stand in an illuminated room in front of a closed, dark closet, then
> slowly open the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the
> closet, but since the dark is so fast, you would not be able to see
> the dark leave the closet.
>
> In conclusion, Bell Labs stated that dark suckers make all our lives
> much easier. So the next time you look at an electric bulb remember
> that it is indeed a dark sucker.
>
> see  http://home.netcom.com/~rogermw/darksucker.html
> for further explanation. but basically, it shows that the Theory of
> Light
> is all wrong. all "lights" suck dark, not emit light/photon.
>
> somewhat related is the ancient British Automotive conclusion
> involving
> the smoke held inside automobile wiring ...
> see   http://www.ovlr.org/franz/smoke.html
> for the convincing explanations.
>
> or as Socrates used to say, you already knew it; you just forgot it.
> ;)
>
> unca joel
>