Chris,
Look no further. My (current) wife fits your requirements perfectly and she can
take the Doublecab (Syncro) with her. Wanna swap for the kids? :-)
-Larry
P.S. On second thought, I really need her to read the Bentley - can your kids
read?

<Ladies and Gentlemen,

1.  The ability to withstand long periods of time of me laying underneath my
Westy with out asking nagging questions.
2.  Basic knowledge of Bentley Manual.  It's kind of hard to read the darn
thing while I'm wrenching.
3.  Thorough understanding of oil viscosities and their implications as
related to operating and ambient temperatures.
4.  Knowing Ken Wilford and maybe even someone at Bus Depot on a first-name
basis.  Example: "Honey, can you call Ken?  the *&%# broke again!"
5.  Live and laugh with me, as we peruse the apparent nonsense that
infiltrates the Vanagon list on a daily basis.
6.  Please, oh please, have less than 10 pairs of shoes!
7.  Always look forward to the trips and long drives. Oh, never ask to buy
anything but a Volkswagen.  Well, maybe an Audi.
8.  Know the cooling system bleeding procedure.
9.  And finally, owning a Vanagon is a definite plus.  In running condition
even a bigger plus.  SYNCRO a BIG BIG PLUS!  If not running, we'll use it
for parts.>