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Subject:Re: Deer Strike, Stories anyone??
From:Chris Stann
Date:Fri, 12 Oct 2001 13:30:53 -0500

I've never struck any dear with my Westy, but I have killed a few.  Let me
clarify:  the deer never have a chance to get even close.  I have mounted
four, count'em 4, as in four, buck-shot-laden 12-gauge rifles with extended
magazines and remote-trigger in the front luggage area above the roof.  I
have four holes neatly cut with electro magnetically actuated doors in the
front-facing side of the compartment.  I have staggered the blast patterns
so that any thing within a the 50-yard reach of my 'guns' gets hit at least
once.  I also have four 'Blazer' type 150-watt off-road lights mounted on my
front bumper to aid 'deer-spotting'.

My 'deer-avoiding' technique, usually done at night, is as follows:  1.
Spot a hapless bambi grazing at the side of the interstate.  3.  Turn on my
off-road light aka 'Bambi-magnets'.  This instantly freezes bambi, or bambis
in some cases, in their tracts.  4.  Swerve toward the beasts.  5. Actuate
my firing mechanism thusly letting off salvos of 4 guns.  Keep steering
towards the heard, with guns blazing, until one, or several, get hit.  5.
Let off a primal scream.  One a lot like our ancestors surely must have used
when clubbing a native Grizzly to death.  Or at least like the one when my
hand slips off my wrench while trying to unscrew that damned rusty exhaust
nut.  5.  Engage the diff-lock as I have to follow the bleeding bastards
into the wild yonder.  6.  Once magazines are empty and their collective 60
shells are spent I disengage the firing mechanism.  By now I should have
located at least one, if not several, dead deer.  7.  Disembowel and load
venison into Westy.  8.  Skip the ranger station for what they don't know
won't hurt them.  After all, it's just 'road-kill' in the truest sense!

Above setup also handy in dispatching road-raged SUVs and hysteric teenagers
in their Camaro Z-28s.  Also the recoil from the guns is useful alternative
to the reverse gear.

Thanks for your time,

Chris
'85 Westy 'Road Kill Rudi'