I, along with a few idle co-workers, was able to come up with a tactic that
should help our Afghanistan effort tremendously while keeping casualties, as
in dead people, down to a minimum.  We all know that it is strictly
forbidden in the Muslim world to think of, touch, or eat any pig or
pig-related meat products.  I suggested that we develop a
genetically-engineered remotely-controlled radioactive flying pig, hoards of
them, and send them to Afghanistan.  The creatures would literally 'buzz'
the Afghani mosques and buildings, or huts, and explode at will.  This would
send pig meat flying for several hundred yards in all directions.  Such
tainted soil, homes, and people would immediately be proclaimed 'unholy' and
'desecrated' and unsuitable for use.  These pigs would have night-vision
enhanced capabilities that would enable them to fly into those caves where
the Al Queda (sp?) soldiers are hiding.  When there, the pigs, or Peagles,
as a cross between a pig and an eagle, would let out that characteristically
piggy, shrill sound and again, explode.  Surely, such contamination would
drive those rebels to suicide, immediate conversion, or, at least, a bath or
two.

Also in the works, the Bacon Amulet for our troops and a new weapon to
replace some of the smart bombs, the lard-balloon.

Thanks,

Chris.

P.S.  Patent Pending.