You sure you're not Unca Joel in disguise?

> From: Chris Smith <chris.smith@AQUILA.NET>
> Reply-To: Chris Smith <chris.smith@AQUILA.NET>
> Date: Fri, 2 Nov 2001 12:27:35 -0600
> To: vanagon@GERRY.VANAGON.COM
> Subject: Re: Vanagon de Graff generator?
>
> The answer is simple.  VW engineers were asked if there was anyway to cut
> production costs when designing the 094 tranny.  Remember that the late
> '70s and early '80s were a rough time for the European economy.  They
> developed a rather unique solution.  Since any automotive designer will
> tell you that there is no way that a vanagon could ever possibly power
> itself up a hill (do the math yourself if you don't belive me) there must
> be a little magic used to make everything work.
>
> They decided to look into the work of Nickoli Tesla.  One of the things he
> was working on at the time of his death was a way to transport mater using
> high voltage AC current.  (some belive that this is where the writers of
> Star Trek got the idea, others don't)  When the VW engineers saw this
> research they new they had found the solution to 2 problems.  1) how to get
> a giant box to go 75mph powered by not much more than a large lawn tractor
> engine and 2) how to make a 4speed tranny with only 3 gears.
>
> As you might have guessed by now, providing you haven't deleted this
> message yet, the solution was to replace the back half of the input shaft
> with a Tesla generator and replace the gear cluster with Tesla
> receivers.  This system allows the van to be "pushed" along using a form of
> mater transmission rather than direct mechanical connection.  The problem
> with the crackle on your AM radio is not a spark but rather a miss
> alignment in the subspacial return when shifting the "gears".  To correct
> you'll need a Hiesenburg Uncertainty Principal exemption.  This should be
> available from any quantum physicist.
>
>
> "I'm off to see the lizard"
> Chris Smith
>