Thanks to Bill Kasper, this mess is now resolved.

Because this involved a very common transaction of the type conducted through
the list many times every day, it does have some relevance.  In order to spare
getting yourself involved in a spectacle like this,

1.  Have a written summary of the deal (e-mail at least), including whether or
not the stuff is returnable for a refund and if so any conditions or time
limits.
2. Avoid letting stuff out of your possession without payment.  There's much
less opportunity for things to go wrong then.
3. Communication is important.  Don't ignore someone's e-mails because you think
the matter is resolved or whatever.
4. Exchange phone numbers.  I should have called Al before sending my post to
the list.  Communication is better on the phone.  Maybe things would have gone
differently, although based on the conversation we did finally have, i'm not so
sure.
5.  Most disputes result from misunderstandings or expectations that conflict,
not evil intent.

I have only had one person actually try to rip me off on the list.  It was a set
of 14" vw alloy wheels that the guy said he got from a VW dealer brand new,
still in the box, and were for sale for only $600.  They came shipped in vw
boxes aright, but were not new.  They had had the baked on enamel glass beaded
off and were repainted with regular paint.  They looked nice, but would be all
chipped up in no time, and one was bent/out of round we found out when it was
put on a balancing machine.  It took some effort, but the guy took them back
finally.  I lost on the shipping  both ways.

Take my word for it  (ugh), an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!
Steve