Entertainment for tonight?

 Fourteen Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse is taking his or her
sweet time:

 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when
 they aren't looking.

 2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute
 intervals.

 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.

 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone," Code 3
 in house wares," and see what happens.

 5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers
 you'll invite them in only if they bring pillows  from the bedding
department.

 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why
 can't you people just leave me alone?"

 9. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he
 knows where the antidepressants are.

 10. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme
 from "Mission Impossible."

 11. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different
 size funnels.

 12. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say,
 "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

 13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal
 position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again." and last but not
 least,

 14. Go into a fitting room and yell loudly, "Hey! We're out of toilet
 paper in here!"