I hate to break it to Pentagon, but Hostess pioneered the technology of
infinitely-edible foods first.  The came up with Twinkies.  According to
latest nuclear and thermodynamic testing Twinkies have a half-life, or was
that half-shelf-life, of approximately 10228 years.  They are also able to
withstand impact forces of 15 Gs without spilling their filling!

Chris,

The inventor of push-up underpants for men
'85 Westy