How about this one for a bumper sticker " Don't follow so close.....This
van is old.... The driver is old...  But the bullets are new!"

Aloha, Ed

On Wed, 15 May 2002 10:15:08 -0500 Jeremy Speer <jspeer@POBOX.COM>
writes:
> Ok, after driving my van for a couple thousand miles in and around
> the Twin
> Cities of Minnesota and western Wisconsin, I've arrived at two
> bumper
> stickers I'd like to either find or have made up.
>
> 1) Don't Tailgate: IT WON'T HELP!
>
> 2) You're behind a Vanagon. Deal with it.
>
> There is a very nice dark green 70's Westy I see now and then that
> has the
> following stickers:
>
> "0-60 Eventually"
>
> "Never get behind a Bus"
>
> "Honk if something falls off"
>
> I've been using my van as my daily driver for a couple of weeks now.
> I come
> in to work fairly early, so the traffic is usually light.
>
> Going home, however, traffic frequently very heavy even by my former
> New
> York City standards. Every day without fail there is some butt-head
> right on
> my tail down the freeway entrance ramp. Once we get to the freeway
> they
> immediately zoom out into traffic (ignoring any of those annoying
> lines that
> happen to be painted on the road surface) and shoot past me.
>
> But.... also nearly without fail, after an exit or two, I end up
> passing the
> former tailgating butt-head for some reason. Frequently it is
> because they
> have been boxed in somehow. Can't help but smile when I see that.
>
> Regards,
>
> -jspeer
>
> '89 Westy, "Mystery Machine"
>