OK the door is opened (oakpenned?) to more punnishment.
Asp en you shall receive:

1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead
     raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry,
     gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

  2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood
     and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton
     fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally,
     became known as the lesser of two weevils.

  3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a
     fire in the craft it sank, proving once again that you can't have
     your kayak and heat it, too.

  4. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the old west. He slides
     up to the bar and announces, "I'm looking for the man who shot my
     paw."

  5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
     canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

  6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
     standing in the lobby discussi
ng their recent tournament
     victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office
     and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved
     off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an
     open foyer."

  7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes
     to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a
     family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a
     picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the
     picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a
     picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've
     seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

  8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened
     up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to
     buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town
     thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to
     close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars
     to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh
     MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to
     "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed
     their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up
     shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only
     Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

  9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
     which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also
     ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd
     diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ... what? (Oh,
     man, this is so bad, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic
     hexed by halitosis.

  10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to
      friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make
      them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Dave
90 Westy