I used to have:

        My other car is a Porsche.

        My other vehicle is an F-100.

        I fly C-130s; what's your excuse?

           +----------------------------------------------+
           | You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape.|
           | If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. |
           | If it moves and shouldn't, use duct tape.    |
           +----------------------------------------------+