More Friday Fun at other marques expense

Alistair
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Memorable quotes (author's paraphrase) gleaned from various GM
engineers and managers during a summer internship in Michigan.

"Hey wait a minute, this car has no speedo needle...oh, never
mind, I see it -- it's buried."

          --heard on the 2-way radio as an engineer was
            drag-racing her Buick Skylark on the dragstrip at
            the GM Milford Proving Grounds.

"There's something terribly wrong with this car, I can't even
burn rubber with it."

          --an engineer returning her Cadillac
            Cimmarron after a brief test drive.

"This car's a dog!...well, maybe not"

          --driving a Buick Skylark w/ 3300 V6 for the first
            time.

"I'll put my money on Art...he used to be a drag racer."

          --during a showdown drag-race between the H.O.
            Quad-4 Cutlass Calais (180 hp), and a Pontiac
            Grand Am SE Turbo (165 hp).  [btw. Quad-4 won
            hands-down]

"We don't even consider the Supra, RX-7, or 300ZX
competition, because they don't sell nearly as many units as
we do."

          --CPC engineer commenting on Camaros and Firebirds
            relative to the competition.

"The Buick buyer never wants to have to open his hood for
anything --he would rather have it permanently sealed."

          --Buick marketing manager on demographics

"slow, 100 mph"

          --sign posted at the end of the 5 mile north-south
            straightaway, just prior to the turnaround loop,
            at GM's Milford Proving Grounds

"I think you should read this."

          --memo circulated to all engineers working on
            Quad-4 project, attached to a copy of a very
            negative review of the car in _Automobile
            Magazine_

"We want a reputation for quality and value like that of
Honda."

          --Chevrolet marketing manager

"Pontiac's trying to cultivate an image of excitement and
expressive sportiness...you know, kind of like Honda."

          --Pontiac marketing manager

"Our goal is to be to the American market what Honda is to
the Japanese market."

          --Buick marketing manager

"In the future, Oldsmobile will be attracting the younger,
more sophisticated buyers that are currently buying Hondas."

          --Oldsmobile chief engineer

"These seatbelts suck!"

          --unidentified engineer on GM's new passive belts