In a message dated 7/18/2003 12:36:07 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
wilden1@JUNO.COM writes:

> FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.
>
> BITES.
>

I'll take two. Please send to:
Al Knoll
c/o Mike Miller
Sacramento, CA

> FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKERSPANIEL 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG.
>

SND's lastname wouldn't happen to be Wilder, would it?

> FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART STUPID DOG.
>
Ahhhh... part Texan.;) Good eatin'.

> GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.

Can he do oil changes on Vanagons with the correct filter?

> FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT... BEEN OUT
>
> AWHILE... BETTER BE A REWARD.

Yes, send postpaid via First Class Air to Matthew Pollard in Idaho. Please
email invoice to: <A HREF="mailto:poll7356@uidaho.edu">poll7356@uidaho.edu</A>

> 1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB --$850/offer
>
>

I'm interested if the woman included in the tub are older than the food in my
fridge. You can keep the man and the tub.

> SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

Sounds like another texas snowjob. It's like those flood damaged cars sold
with clear Texas Title. Described as "never overheated".

> COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED...ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.

Why? Have they started calling you uncle?

> NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY.

OK, what's your tel. number?

> HUMMERS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER - "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE
> HAVE IT!"

What tune do they hum?

> GEORGIA PEACHES, CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb

I've seen these grown in Georgia Bushes.;(

> NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE.
>
Do  you have a birthday coming up?

> JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER &DRYER $300.

Watcher & the Ogler to trade.

> ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER.

What's Alzheimer's? Is that kind of memorable choking maneuver? I forget.
Nevermind.

> OPEN HOUSE: BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON. FREE COFFEE &
> DONUTS.

Is this a Police Department event?

> (AND THE BEST ONE)
>
> FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.
> 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer.
> No longer needed. Got married last month. Wife knows everything

Does it come with a divorce decree?

BenT