Begin forwarded message:

>  Apart from screwdrivers, pliers and duct tape, what are some
> handy tools/items I should have on hand in case of emergency?

Here's a essential tools list, as contributed from an unknown (to me, 
anyway) Listee a while back:

| |  The Only Tools You'll Ever Need While Travelling
| |
| | 1. DUCT TAPE: Not just a tool, a veritable Swiss Army knife in
| |     stickum and plastic. It's safety wire, body material, radiator
| |     hose, upholstery, insulation, tow rope, and more in one
| |     easy-to-carry package. Sure, there's a prejudice surrounding 
duct
| |     tape in concourse competitions, but in the real world everything
| |     from LeMans - winning Porsches to Atlas rockets - uses it by the
| |     yard. The only thing that can get you out of more scrapes is a
| |     quarter and a phone booth.
| |
| | 2. VICE-GRIPS: Equally adept as a wrench, hammer, pliers, baling
| |     wire twister, breaker-off of frozen bolts, and
| |     wiggle-it-till-it-falls-off tool. The heavy artillery of your
| |     toolbox, Vice Grips are the only tool designed expressly to fix
| |     things screwed up beyond repair.
| |
| |  3. SPRAY LUBRICANTS: A considerably cheaper alternative to new
| |     doors, alternators, and other squeaky items. Slicker than pig
| |     phlegm. Repeated soakings of WD-40 will allow the main hull 
bolts
| |     of the Andrea Dora to be removed by hand. Strangely enough, an
| |     integral part of these sprays is the infamous little red tube
| |     that flies out of the nozzle if you look at it cross-eyed, one 
of
| |     the ten worst tools of all time.
| |
| |  4. MARGARINE TUBS WITH CLEAR LIDS: If you spend all your time under
| |     the hood looking for a frendle pin that caromed off the peedle
| |     valve when you knocked both off the air cleaner, it's because 
you
| |     eat butter. Real mechanics consume pounds of tasteless vegetable
| |     oil replicas, just so they can use the empty tubs for parts
| |     containers afterward. (Some, of course, chuck the butter-colored
| |     goo altogether or use it to repack wheel bearings.) Unlike air
| |     cleaners and radiator lips, margarine tubs aren't connected by a
| |     time/space wormhole to the Parallel Universe of Lost Frendle
| |     Pins.
| |
| |  5. BIG ROCK AT THE SIDE OF THE ROAD: Block up a tire. Smack 
corroded
| |     battery terminals. Pound out a dent. Bop nosy know-it-all types
| |     on the noodle. Scientists have yet to develop a hammer that 
packs
| |     the raw banging power of granite or limestone. This is the only
| |     tool with which a "made in India" emblem is not synonymous with
| |     the user's maiming.
| |
| |  6. PLASTIC ZIP TIES: After twenty years of lashing down stray hoses
| |     and wired with old bread ties, some genius brought a slightly
| |     slicked up version to the auto parts market. Fifteen zip ties 
can
| |     transform a hulking mass of amateur-quality rewiring from a
| |     working model of the Brazilian rain forest into something
| |     remotely resembling a wiring harness. Of course, it works both
| |     ways. When buying used cars, subtract $100.00 for each zip tie
| |     under the hood.
| |
| |  7. RIDICULOUSLY LARGE STANDARD SCREWDRIVER WITH LIFETIME GUARANTEE:
| |     Let's admit it. There's nothing better for prying, chiseling,
| |     lifting, breaking, splitting, or mutilating than a huge
| |     flat-bladed screwdriver, particularly when wielded with gusto 
and
| |     a big hammer. This is also the tool of choice for oil filters so
| |     insanely located they can only be removed by driving a stake in
| |     one side and out the other. If you break the screwdriver - and
| |     you will, just like Dad or your shop teacher said - who cares?
| |     It's guaranteed.
| |
| |  8. BAILING WIRE: Commonly known as MG muffler brackets, bailing 
wire
| |     holds anything that's too hot for tape or ties. Like duct tape,
| |     it's not recommended for concourse contenders since it works so
| |     well you'll never replace it with the right thing again. Bailing
| |     wire is a sentimental favorite in some circles, particularly 
with
| |     MG, Triumph, and flathead Ford set.
| |
| |  9. BONKING STICK: This monstrous tuning fork with devilishly pointy
| |     ends is technically known as a tie-rod- end separator, but how
| |     often do you separate tie-ends? Once every decade, if you're
| |     lucky. Other than medieval combat, its real use is the all
| |     purpose application of undue force, not unlike that of the huge
| |     flat-bladed screwdriver. Nature doesn't know the bent metal 
panel
| |     or frozen exhaust pipe that can stand up to a good bonking 
stick.
| |    (Can also be used to separate tie-rod ends in a pinch, of course,
| |     but does a lousy job of it).
| |
| | 10. A QUARTER (now its $0.35) AND A PHONE BOOTH: (See #1 above.)"
| |

Roy Olynick
49� 53' 04" N - 97� 08' 47" W
'87 Vanagon Westfalia GL (For Sale)	
www.autobahn.mb.ca/~rrh/Westy_Home.htm