this gave me a good laugh... :<)

------------------------------------
Note: forwarded message attached.

To all my friends, thanks to you sending me all of the warning chain letters
in 2003:

* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing
toilet stains.

* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with
AIDS.

* I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause
cancer.

* I never park my car in a parking lot or any other convenient place and
sometimes have to walk over 7 blocks for  fear that someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me or reach out from under my car slashing my legs with a
razor blade.

*I have to search for more expensive, full service gas stations for fear that
someone may have placed an aids infected needle on the self-service, pump
handle.

* I stopped answering the phone for fear that they will ask me to dial a
number which will result in a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda,
Singapore, Tokyo and Nigeria.

* I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing other
than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a
filthy lab so that places like McDonalds can make large profits.

* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick
from the rat feces and urine.

* I'm always alone because when I go to parties, I don't look at any woman no
matter how hot she is, for fear that she will drug me, take my kidneys and
leave me unconscious in a bathtub full of ice.

* I donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account.  A sick little girl that
was about to die. Amazingly, she's been 7 since 1993 which is when she only
had six months to live.

*I won't answer the door to accept any UPS deliveries because the driver may
be a terrorist who bought his uniform on Ebay.

* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that
Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their
special, e-mail forwarding program.

* My Ericcson phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a paid
vacation to Disneyland.

* But I am positive that all this is the cause of a stinking chain letter
that I broke, or forgot to follow, or did not send to enough friends which  gave
me a curse from hell.

IMPORTANT NOTE: If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the
next 10 seconds, a bird will poop on you and you will develop massive
hemorrhoids.