Seems any two of those parameters would be show stopper.  More than 3
are a recipe for disaster.  I have driven my 87 Westy (now SVX) far and
wide.  I have done it on a wing and a prayer and tools and Vanagon.com and
Ken Wilford's advice and my own ability to screw anything up or jury rig
anything as well (my sink faucet is still run from a 15 dollar (Canadian
peso) bilge pump bought at a marine store in Whitehorse 3 years ago).
     My van has been a reliable and trustworthy friend for a long time.
It has been that way due to preventative maintenance.  It is almost 18
years old now.
     A honda minivan would be a good van for the set of parameters you
just named.  All that being said, give me 2 months with any vanagon and
that van would be my first choice.

    John
    87 Westy (now SVX)
    -been north of 70N and south of 20S, pictures of both upon request