Great story, well told.
Sounds like that woman needs to do an internship at a full service gas
station. Do those still exist?

-- Gnarlie

Entity Michael Wagner spoke thus:

> Hi Folks -
>
> There are just some things that only other Vanagon owners understand and can
> relate to.  Like my recent trip through the Motor Vehicle Inspection lanes
> here in Delaware.
>
> As we all will probably agree, the people that work in most Motor Vehicle
> bureaus aren't always of the cheerful persuasion.  They also are probably
> all subjected to Klingon painsticks during their indoctrination into the
> department, so they never show any emotion positively or negatively about
> individual components of the testing regimen while you are going through, so
> you never really know if you're in for trouble or not.  This is unfortunate,
> and probably worse for us with aging vehicles that are not exactly
> "mainstream" in design.
>
> I took my 85 Westy in today for its every-other-year mandatory inspection.
> As expected, they looked at me like I was an alien with three heads pulling
> up in a flying saucer. After the usual light and wiper tests, the first real
> grunt I got out of the guy was over the horn.  I had to tell him it wasn't
> malfunctioning and was supposed to sound that way.
>
> Then I got passed along a little further where a woman asked me where the
> engine was.  Duh - as usual it was loud I enough I couldn't believe she
> needed to ask, but I told her it was in the rear.  She walked around the
> back of the van, then all the way around the front, then to the back again,
> then came back to me to ask where the "hood" was.  I turned the engine off
> and got out, which she was clearly not happy about, and told her I would
> show her.  I asked why she needed to know that, and all I got was "I have a
> test to do with the hood open".  I said "fine", opened the rear door, tossed
> the padded cushion off the engine hatch, and pointed to it and said "OK -
> there's the closest thing I have to a hood".  She said "oh no", and then
> said "forget it".  I'm thinking this can't be good news.
>
> She then asks me to get back in the vehicle and start it again.  I do.
>
> She walks around the van again and finally after her second time around,
> stops and lifts the electrical cover on the driver side.  After a couple of
> seconds, she puts it down and finally asks me "where is the gas cap?".  I
> turn off the van again, and get out, taking her to the passenger side and
> pointing.  Of course, it is locked so I hand her the keys.  She can't get
> the cap off, so I do it for her.  She then takes the cap away, and after 3-4
> minutes comes back to tell me they don't have an adapter that will allow her
> to test my gas cap.  Again, this can't be good news.
>
> Back in the drivers seat, I'm told to turn on the engine again, and she puts
> the emission test device into the tailpipe.  Of course, this is really the
> only thing I am ever truly concerned about each time.  Fortunately, after
> about 4 minutes, in typical DMV emotionless mannerisms she says "everything
> passed", hands me a piece of paper, grunts a "you can pull forward now" and
> then motioned to the next vehicle.  Gotta love it.  I'll have to try to get
> her lane again in two years.  At least she'll know not to ask me the hood
> question again.
>
> MW