If you didn't have any thing to think about and ponder today well, help
has arrived.

If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous
>> erudite scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning and all of my
>> stuff had been stolen...and replaced by exact duplicates." His mind
>> sees things differently than we do, to our amazement and amusement.
>>
>> Here are some more of his gems:
>>
>> 1 . I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
>>
>> 2 . Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
>>
>> 3 . Half the people you know are below average.
>>
>> 4 . 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
>>
>> 5 . 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
>>
>> 6 . A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
>>
>> 7 . A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
>>
>> 8 . If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
>>
>> 9 . All those who believe in psycho-kinesis, raise my hand.
>>
>> 10 . The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
>> cheese.
>>
>> 11 . I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
>>
>> 12 . OK, so what's the speed of dark?
>>
>> 13 . How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
>>
>> 14 . If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously
overlooked
>> something.
>>
>> 15 . Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
>>
>> 16 . When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
>>
>> 17 . Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
>>
>> 18 . Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
>>
>> 19 . I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.
>>
>> 20 . If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
>>
>> 21 . Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
>>
>> 22 . What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
>>
>> 23 . My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made
your
>> horn louder."
>>
>> 24 . Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
>>
>> 25 . If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you
tried.
>>
>> 26 . A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
>>
>> 27 . Experience is something you don't get until just after you need
it.
>>
>> 28 . The hardness of the butter is inversely proportional to the
>> softness of the bread.
>>
>> 29 . To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many
is
>> research.
>>
>> 30 . The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
>>
>> 31. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
>>
>> 32 . The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to
be
>> on it.
>>
>> 33 . Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
>>