Thanks Don.

I was fine until I got to 'Lymph'; I'm glad my tea was all gone!

On 9/22/06, don spence <dkspence@telus.net> wrote:
>
> >
> > ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST
> >
> > Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning
> > submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to
> > supply alternate meanings for common words.
> >
> > The winners are:
> >
> > 1. Coffee (n.): the person upon whom one coughs.
> >
> > 2. Flabbergasted (adj.): appalled over how much weight you have
> > gained.
> >
> > 3. Abdicate (v.): to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
> >
> > 4. Esplanade (v.): to attempt an explanation while drunk.
> >
> > 5. Willy-nilly (adj.): impotent
> >
> > 6. Negligent (adj.): describes a condition in which you absent-
> > mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
> >
> > 7. Lymph (v.): to walk with a lisp.
> >
> > 8. Gargoyle (n.): olive-flavored mouthwash.
> >
> > 9. Flatulence (n.): emergency vehicle that picks you up after you
> > are run over by a steamroller.
> >
> > 10. Balderdash (n.): a rapidly receding hairline.
> >
> > 11. Testicle (n.): a humorous question on an exam.
> >
> > 12. Rectitude (n.): the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
> > proctologists.
> >
> > 13. Pokemon (n): a Rastafarian proctologist.
> >
> > 14. Oyster (n.): a person who sprinkles his conversation with
> > Yiddishisms.
> >
> > 15. Frisbeetarianism (n.): (back by popular demand). The belief
> > that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck
> > there.
> >
> > 16. Circumvent (n.): an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn
> > by Jewish men.
> >
> > The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers
> > to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
> > subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
> > Here are this year's winners:
> >
> > 1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
> > bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
> > shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
> >
> > 2. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
> > subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
> >
> > 3. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
> >
> > 4. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and
> > the person who doesn't get it.
> >
> > 5. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are
> > running late.
> >
> > 6. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
> >
> > 7. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
> > credit.)
> >
> > 8 Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all
> > these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes
> > and it's like, a serious bummer.
> >
> > 9. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
> > consuming only things that are good for you.
> >
> > 10. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
> >
> > 11. Dopeler Effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
> > smarter when they come at you rapidly.
> >
> > 12. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
> > you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
> >
> > 13. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into
> > your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
> >
> > 14 Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub
> > in the fruit you're eating.
> >
> >
>

--
Jake
1984 Vanagon GL
1986 Westy Weekender "Dixie"
www.crescentbeachguitar.com