Ha, I can't help it, but this thread makes me think of the following passage
from Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men, which is of course, entirely G-rated:

"You seen that glove on his left hand?"
"Yeah. Seen it."
"Well, that glove's fulla vaseline."
"Vaseline? What the hell for?"
"Well, I tell ya what - Curley says he's keepin' that hand soft for his
wife."

--
Casey
'87 300TD
'94 100CSQ Avant
'89 Bluestar