Congratulations, Malcolm, I'm happy for you.  If I make it to Morocco (these
things happen in my life!) I'll look you up!  You will stay on the vanagon
list, won't you?

Joy

On Fri, Jun 5, 2009 at 7:31 PM, Malcolm Stebbins <mwstebbins@yahoo.com>wrote:

> Dear all:  It's Friday and I'm again posting "a personal note" to the list.
>
> In December 2007, I posted a note regarding my wife's death (
> http://gerry.vanagon.com/cgi-bin/wa.exe?A2=ind0712a&L=vanagon&F=&S=&P=65741)
>
> While I still miss Pat nearly every minute of every day, that damn sun
> keeps coming up and I have to live each day.  I could bury my head and
> wallow in my sorrow, or I could 'move on' and grab all of life that could
> have been mine (ours) had Pat lived.  I am choosing the latter.
>
> This next chapter of my life actually begins back in 1995/6 when I had a
> job teaching business at a university in Ifrane, Morocco (use Google Earth).
>  I met a wonderful woman colleague over in the Humanities Department.  Our
> spouses were not with us and we took the opportunity to strike up a
> wonderful Plotonically intimate friendship.  I was in a wonderful marriage
> with Pat, and Jamila was in a suboptimal marriage.  I left the university in
> 1996 but Jamila and I stayed in contact with each other all of these
> intervening years.  FWIW, our spouses knew of our wonderful friendship.
>
> In about 2002, Morocco changed its laws and allowed women to more easily
> file for divorce......Jamila soon took advantage of the change in the law.
>  Then when my wife died, Jamila's and my emails took on a different tenor as
> we were now  both single.  Soon emails gave way to phone calls, then video
> (Skype) calls, then after 13 years of 'separation' I made a visit to
> Morocco.  The spark, and intimacy were still there for us both.  Over the
> last year, I've made 3 trips to Morocco, and Jamila one trip here to N.
> America.
>
> Re Jamila's trip to N America, initially Jamila could not fathom what
> Vanagon life would be like in a car sized vehicle:  eating, sleeping, peeing
> etc.  It took her only a few days to learn the routine.  It helped that many
> of our initial campgrounds were in Canadian Provincial Parks with our sites
> being at water's edge (No fool me).  Our trip was a round-trip from Halifax
> to Sault Saint Marie Ont., then back east through the northeastern USA.
>
> They say to NOT make any BIG decisions for at least a year after a
> traumatic loss........well the year is over and so I have now:  Taken early
> retirement, Sold the house here in Halifax, Married Jamila, and am Retiring
> to Rabat, Morocco.  I have dropped of my 1989 Syncro 16 Dehler van at the
> port here in Halifax for shipment to Antwerp, Belgium in a few weeks, then
> Jamila and I will fly up and retrieve the van and make our way back down to
> Morocco.  Not bad for making no BIG decisions.  :-)
>
> Jamila has a PhD in Linguists and is a Full Professor in Rabat.  The fact
> that she speaks 4+ languages will greatly facilitate our travel (Morocco is
> only 14 kilometers from Spain).
>
> For those who like photos,  a photo of Jamila is here:
> http://picasaweb.google.com/mstebbins/JamMalCI2008#5193696354659916962
>
> A photo of both of us is here:
> http://picasaweb.google.com/mstebbins/NerjaRabat2008#5299030920899807810
>
> You can visit   http://picasaweb.google.com/mstebbins   for many more
> photos of our recent trips to Las Palmas, Nerja (both Spain), Lisbon, our
> recent 10 day trip around Morocco, and of course our N. American trip.
> There are other photos on this site, and I'll be flattered if you root
> around a bit.
>
> Soon I hope to be able to post some more van travel stories that may even
> match my posts of Pat's and my van trip from Cairo to Amsterdam  in our then
> 1991 Syncro Westy
> (
> http://gerry.vanagon.com/cgi-bin/wa.exe?S2=vanagon&L=vanagon&q=&s=Cairo&f=stebbins&a=1+July+1999&b=31+August+2001).
>
> Whether this new adventure of ours fails or succeeds, we are going going to
> have a ball either way.  In our new marriage, we have only  have one rule:
>  If the marriage fails, we fail in such a way that we retain our friendship.
>
> Take care everyone, and may the vanagon gods smile on our vans.  Malcolm
> Stebbins (was of Halifax, Nova Scotia, now sitting in Rabat, Morocco).
>