I was crossing into the US in my vanagon for a camping trip and I approached
USCustoms.
The conversation went like this

Custom Officer: "Citizenship"
Me: "Canadian"
Custom Officer: "Where do you live"
Me: "Vancouver"
Customs Officer: "How long will you be in USA"
Me: 3 weeks
Customs Officier "Where are you going"
Me: Death Valley, California
Customs officer: What do you have in the van that you are bringing with you?
I was looking for the word "effects" as in personnel effects but instead for
some strange reason it came out as this
Me: "personnel artifacts"
Custom Officer: Casting a long slow glance over me and a long silence
ensues.
                         "Artifacts"
                         "What kind of artifacts"
Me: "I didn't really mean artifacts. I just have my stuff, clothes and
personnel
       stuff.
Customs Officer:  After a very long silence. "I can't believe you said
artifacts"
Me:  Laughing. "Either can I".
Customs Office: Shaking his head. "Go ahead".

Bernie
Vancouver