AMEN!    & once again the voice of reason, Unca Joel has set us straight!
Do not argue, do not pass go, do not buy a vanagon w/o changing the
fuel lines.

YMMV,

Mr. BZ- could even visualize Foghorn as I read this!

On Jan 8, 2010, at 3:47 PM, joel walker wrote:

> one ignorant chicken-plucking lowlife dog said ...
>> If one and a half chickens can lay one and a half eggs in one and a
>> half days, how many eggs wil nine chickens lay in nine days?
>
> then some ignorant weasel replied ...
>> 54
>
> and THEN another looney tunes chicken hawk chimed in with ...
>> i agree - 54.
>
> to which i, the Ilustrious and Profound Ruler of the Roost and Long
> Time
> Prevaricator of Poultrytudenous Prevenance and Prevention,
> Foghorn J. Leghorn, proclaim ...
>
> lookie here, i say, lookie here!!
> you're wrong, son, you're waaaaay off this time!!!
> pay attention to me, boy, i'm not just talking to hear my head roar!
>
> firstly, there's no such thing as a half a chicken. cepting on a
> dinner plate
> (horrors!!).
>
> secondly, there's no such a thing as half an egg. can't lay a half
> egg,
> can't even find one, cepting on them dinner plates again (double
> horrors!!).
>
> thirdly, having spent my entire lifetime showing and crowing around
> the barnyards and chicken coops of this Great and Glorious Nation of
> ours,
> i can speak with some authority that getting some of them lazy
> good-for-nothing hens to even lay ONE egg per day is expecting minor
> miracles of a nature similar to winning the lottery in Alabama!!
> (there ain't no lottery in Alabama, son).
>
> now, as pertains to Real Life Conditions, which includes mortality
> rates and other such actuarial tables, compounded by the U. S.
> Department of Agriculture and other such organizations, regarding the
> probabilities of egg production on tiny, small, medium, large, and
> even gradiose scales, you have to factor in losses of said chickens
> (and in doing so, i feels it necessary to remind the reader that only
> hens lay eggs. so i'm assuming that the morons that started this mess
> meant 'hens' and not just your generic barnyard chicken, which could
> also include Roosters, and i'm here to tell ya, Roosters do NOT lay
> eggs!). and those losses
> can be due to stupidity/accidents, sickness and disease, as well as
> predation by a host of different sources, such as Farmers, Farmers'
> wives, Farmers kids, Farmers' dirty ol' egg-sucking dogs, Johnny Cash,
> weasels, and last but not least, chicken hawks.
>
> ergo, therefore, and to wit, the best you're gonna get out of the
> eight surviving hens is gonna be a Grand Total of maybe eight eggs in
> nine days.
>
> that's 8. not 81, not 54, not 43, but 8.
>
> not even a full dozen. not even close to a poulter's dozen.
> 8.
> pronounced 'ate', like what predators do with chickens. and why
> there's only
> eight hens left to even try to lay eggs.
>
> is any of this getting through that thick head of yours, boy?
> (that boy's about as subtle as a hand grenade in a barrel of
> oatmeal!).
>
> don't ya see, son, it's one of those Humourous Inflictives!
> it's a joke, son, don't ya get it?
>
> ok, i'll shut up. i'm not one of them that has to keep talking.
> some fellows just have to keep their mouth flapping, but not me.
> i was brought up right. my pa used to tell me 'shut up!' and i'd shut
> up.
> i wouldn't say nothing!
> one time darned near starved to death ... wouldn't tell him i was
> hungry!
>
> F. J. Leghorn, Esq.
> f.j.leghorn@dodah.dodah.barnyard.org
> (555) 444-23skiddo  - cell
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