>
>
> This might be a sequelum to the use of a urethral sound, or
> especially a urethral scarifier (q.v.).  However the most common
> reason is -- not to put too fine a point on it -- a dose of the
> clap.  This is diagnosed by microscopic examination of a Gram-stained
> smear which will reveal the characteristic "coffee-bean" appearance
> of N. gonorrhea diplococcus *intracellularly* in white cells in the
> smear.  It is generally treated with antibiotics unless you've
> contracted the fearsome (and fabled) hammerhead variety in which case
> treatment is eponymous.  Gonorrhea is more serious but less
> noticeable in females, so if you've been "playing the tree" you might
> want to speak to Mrs. Squirrel^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^HUralgia about it.
>
> There's a nice writeup of the diagnostic test at
> <
> http://wwww.helium.com/items/1750087-how-to-identify-neisseria-gonorrhea-in-a-simple-smear-identification-of-gonorrheoa-grams-stain
> >
>
> As I recall, the coffee beans are sorta cute under high-oil, if
> that's any compensation.  I've never personally experienced them
> except at the other end of a microscope.
>
> Now aren't you sorry you asked? ;->
>
> Yours in sympathy,
> Agony Auntie
> Next week -- How to do a pregnancy test using male frogs.
> N. B. Any of these common diagnostic lab procedures may be
> accomplished in a suitably equipped Vanagon.
>

.... Not nearly as scientific and articulate as your fine diagnosis David
.... butt,
maybe this is a simple case of Natural Selection.

bob