

| Subject: | Re: Surprise Party |
| From: | David Beierl |
| Date: | Fri, 18 Mar 2011 11:49:23 -0400 |
At 09:14 AM 3/18/2011, Al Knoll wrote:
>Dear George, I would be happy to volunteer an ergonomic, all natural, self
>powered, 100% Organic, low maintenance, rodent destruction device.
I'd just like to mention that they're only low maintenance if you're
willing to suffer a certain amount of wastage. Mine recently ate a
string, or a "linear foreign body" as it's called post-eating, and it
took a fair amount of soul-searching and scrambling for funds to save
him (strings are a binary proposition, harmless or fatal - he's one
for two at this point). He now has a five-inch zipper up his middle
and I'm thinking of re-christening him Henry King.*
In addition though, I had a rat in the house for a year and a half,
cordially ignored by the two then-resident moggies and finally put on
ice by the above-mentioned fellow. He was a cute little feller when
he came and a hulking nine inches minus tail when Shadow laid him
out. So four legs and whiskers does not necessarily a mouser make.
I have had recourse to the "Improved classic" model from
www.ratzapper.com . Well made, does the job, doesn't leave corpses
in the woodwork, safe for the moggies. Definitely *not* safe for
curious rugrats.
*Henry King
Who chewed bits of string, and was early cut off in Dreadful agonies.
The Chief Defect of Henry King
Was chewing little bits of String.
At last he swallowed some which tied
Itself in ugly Knots inside.
Physicians of the Utmost Fame
Were called at once; but when they came
They answered, as they took their Fees,
``There is no Cure for this Disease.
``Henry will very soon be dead.
His Parents stood about his Bed
Lamenting his Untimely Death,
When Henry, with his Latest Breath,
Cried, ``Oh, my Friends, be warned by me,
That Breakfast, Dinner, Lunch, and Tea
Are all the Human Frame requires...
With that, the Wretched Child expires.
- Hillaire Belloc
Yours,
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