This ought to make you feel better about� your computer skills!

Tech� support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A� white one...

Tech� support:� Click� on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

Customer: �� Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every
time I try, it says 'Can't find� printer'.� I've even lifted the
printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still
says he can't find it...

Tech� support: �� What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: �� A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

Customer: � My keyboard� is not working anymore.
Tech� support: � Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: � No. I can't� get behind the computer.
Tech� support: �� Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: !�� OK
Tech support: � Did the� keyboard come with you?
Customer:� Yes
Tech support: � That means the keyboard� is not plugged in.

Customer: � I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: �� Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech� support:� Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.

Tech� support: What� anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer...

Customer:� I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver
on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Tech support: �� How may I help you?
Customer: � I'm writing my first email.
Tech support: �� OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: � Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I
get the little circle around it?

This one and the next are our personal favorites!

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: � Are you running it under windows?
Customer: � 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good
point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window,
and his printer is working fine.'

And last but not least!

Tech� support: 'Okay Bob, let's� press the control and escape keys at
the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program� Manager.'
Customer: � I don't have a P.
Tech� support: � On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: � What do you mean?
Tech support: � 'P'.....on� your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: � I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!