So, I went to pick up my van from the paint shop and got there at
about 4 PM. We figured we'd put the headlights and taillights on it
and drive it home, but we couldn't find the screws for the headlights,
so decided to try to get 'er home before dark.

We got about 2 miles down the road and there was a speed trap in Fork
Union. Yep, I got pulled over. The police officer was very nice, and
very confused. He said you've got no headlights and you've got no
windshield wipers and you don't have an inspection sticker on your
windshield. I said, yes, you're absolutely right. I just picked up the
van from being painted and I'm just trying to get it home to put all
the parts back on, oh, and they replaced the windshield, so that's why
there's no inspection sticker, but I have the receipt from where it
was inspected in April. He says, where's home? I said I was trying to
get to Charlottesville, but I could take it to Lake Monticello. He
said, Lake Monticello it is. Oh, and I'm cutting you a lot of slack
here, but if somebody else pulls you over? I said, too bad? Yes, too
bad, he says. So, we continue on our way, squeaking through another
speed trap, and get 10 miles down the road and the oil warning light
and buzzer go off. Crap. Called AAA and had the van towed home.
Sigh... Still, the van's home and it's beautiful, and, hopefully, I
didn't blow up the engine . . . First order of business on getting
home, pouring a good, stiff drink.

Marc Perdue