>From gremlin@iol.ie  Wed Jan 11 19:08:29 1995
>From: "P.J. Kenny" <gremlin@iol.ie>
>Date: Thu, 12 Jan 1995 01:08:22 GMT
>Subject: :)  ... and here he is ... cuddly, furry 'n fat. 

(The lights in the studio dim.  The audience starts to stir and 
a wild tension builds in the air.  A spotlight lights a 
fabric-covered panel with a gi-normous Volkwagen roundel 
embossed there-on.  A dis-embodied deep male voice booms from 
overdriven Blaupunkt speakers, mounted amid the ceiling 
lighting rigs ...)

<cue voice>  Reverend Mothers, reverend fathers, ladies, 
gentlemen and peasants, please stand and acknowledge - your 
friend and mine - Ireland's finest, the vibrant, witty, 
happy-go-lucky, rapier-witted BUSHRAT!

(The audience goes wild.  Lights of incredible hue spin and 
whizz upon wonderfully coloured backdrops.  No-one appears.  
The studio staff begins to fidgit and really look 
uncomfortable.  The audience's enthusiasm starts to wind down 
into confused whispers and anxious looks.)

<cue voice again>  ... The one and onleeeee, BUSHRAT!

(Still no sign of the rodent.)

(A minion is despatched to the dressing room of the incredibly 
gifted and popular star.  Looking through the window of the 
gifted and popular star's T4, the minion espies the self-same 
Bushrat asleep on the rear deck and hears bizarre music - 
probably Philip Glass - blaring from the Blaupunkt.)

"Ahem, P.J.?  You're on, sir."

The Bushrat opens one bloodshot eye, coughs violently and says 
something rude.  The minion gulps, turns pale and leaves.  
Within a couple of seconds, the Transporter fires up (first 
time) and, with a billow of blue smoke, heads off into the 
crisp night air.  

.. to be continued.   (how d'ya like it so far? :)  )

I spent five hours last night (midnight to four am) and three 
this evening reading vanagon digests for the duration I've been 
away.  Good ol' Galvo saved 'em for me and that megabyte of 
ramblings has caused me *major* brain fade and severe 
eye-distortion.

Nice to see some things haven't changed - 170+ vanagon messages 
in the mailbox one day after re-subscribing.  In case you may 
be curious, England was lovely, I left it as I found it, there 
were few T2s, T3s or T4s to be seen, but in 3 weeks I saw 2, 6 
and 10 respectively.  Saw 5 campers, all T3 based.  I had 
access to my aunt's Volvo 340 (eeeuwwww!) which is not really 
as bad as I thought.  Well, anything with four wheels and an 
engine is acceptable when you're far, far away from home, your 
beloved T4 and your computer.  A funny thing about T4s over 
there - while more than half of the Transporters in Ireland 
wear bull-bars, I didn't spot a single one on a VW in Kent.  
(Is there a reason, Lee?)  And every last T4 wore company 
signage, unlike here where there is a good percentage of people 
(like me) who drive Trannys instead of boring ol' cars.

Hope y'all had a happy New Year (congrats on the first post of 
'95, Thom) and my thoughts are with Cal-dwellers.  I've got the 
news channel on beside me - gawd, that weather looks rough!  I 
was disappointed that I didn't feature on the top 25 bandwidth 
wasters, so I'm gonna make up for the smaller number of 
messages by generating longer ones, like this.  :)

(Derek, it's a joke!  I don't mean it!  Honest!!!)

I brought back a few things from the good ol' UK, namely a 
chest infection and 10 lbs of tummy fat.  And OS/2 Warp, which 
partially explains why although I came back on Sunday, I'm 
writing this on Thursday morning.

And now, the VW content for the purists ...

The big blue thing started first time even though Galvo parked 
it under a tree that held every incontinent bird in Ennis.  The 
passenger-side wiper has a nut that unscrews itself every nine 
months and it did it again.  And the car that I crashed into 
(excuse split infinitive) has been repaired by my wonderful 
body-shop man.  Dunno how much it's gonna cost yet, 'coz I've 
not rung him.  Extended credit, doncha know.  :)

I'm disappointed that Ric (of all people) didn't realise that I 
was the errant 'Eurovan' (bleurgh).  Well spotted, Norman! (and 
thanks for the compliment!)

Last thing - after reading tonnes of stuff about you people 
meeting all over the place, I suggest that all the Irish 
Vanagonoldiers (nice word, huh?) should meet next Friday night 
at 9pm at Numero Uno for a pizza.  That Ok with you, Galvo?  ;)

   SCHPONFIRKLE!!!
            :PJ   - the everlasting Bushrat.

- gremlin@iol.ie - patrick j. kenny the oneth -
- aka the bushrat - ennis, co. clare, ireland -
- vw transporters - tazmania - subaqua - cows -
- centaurs - dale e#3 -  and other cool stuff -

.. that's the new .sig for 1995.  I'm Back!!!