Before I run the gauntlet of any politically correct sentient 
life-forms, I wish to state clearly that I am as politically 
correct as is possible without being deceased.  Now to 
business.

Some stupid, ignorant, thick, dumb, brain-dead woman driver 
nearly killed me today.  She was driving a stupid, ignorant 
(etc) Ford Fiesta on one of our delightfully tiny back roads, 
here in the pleasant, wet, sodden Emerald Isle.

We were travelling up a rather steep hill and I was gaining 
rapidly on her. She was doing about 20 mph.  I was hitting 40.  

As we came to the top of the hill, she saw a tanker approach.  
Panicked, she stomped on her brakes and came to a dead stop.  
RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!  Oh boy, I thought, here's a write-off 
for sure.  The tanker was a couple of hundred feet away when 
she did this, so I didn't anticipate her actions.  Yeah, I 
know, I should be ready for all eventualities, including the 
nervousness of incompetants.

Do not put "Passda" tyres on your Transporter, people.  In damp 
conditions they have an adhesion co-effiecent similar to 
teflon.  Enough to say that I really enjoyed testing the 
cadence braking theory, which works, if you combine it with 
driving up a ditch.  Thank God, the van was undamaged; but I 
got one HELL of a fright.

I have nothing against women drivers - but I DETEST INCOMPETANT 
driving.  As I sat upon the ditch, with the blue thing 
liberally coated in mud, she drove off, oblivious to the drama 
that she caused.

I vow NEVER to drive close to Fords again.

...

Secondly, the glow plug installation of last week was a 
complete success thank-you-for-asking and the blue thing starts 
flawlessly again.  Thanks all for spotting the problem, all; 
three of the four plugs were malfunctioning.

While I was under the Transporter I found that the front 
passenger-side CV boot has split completely.  My 
local-friendly-neighbourhood-garage didn't spot that on the 
last service.  That BUGS me.  Now I've more expense on my 
agenda.  

...

Last night, a friend of mine had a dream that another friend 
and I were in an accident in the van.  We were side swiped and 
knocked into a field.  We were both killed.  (spooky, huh?)  If 
it happens in real life, this post will look good in 'Ripleys 
Believe it or not'.  They could call it "e-mail from beyond the 
grave"...

...

To finish, I've got a job!  Be happy for me!

--- Schponfirkle!!!
      from P.J.

- gremlin@iol.ie - the Bushrat - ennis, co. clare, ireland -
 
"I met someone who looks a lot like you
       She does the things you do
          But she is an I.B.M."        - 'Yours Truly, 2095', 
ELO