On Saturday, APRIL FOOL'S DAY (also known as ALL FOOL'S DAY),
             Will Self, that much-maligned Montana munchkin, said:
<some idiotic garbage about President Clinton and a dispicable conspiracy
of the Big Three Automakers, in cooperation with the Japanese government
deleted for sanitary reasons>
>...       Clinton promised significant tax breaks to any U.S. citizen
>who trades in any Volkswagen vehicle in exchange for an American-made

this is a misquote: actually, Clinton promised "stiff and fantastic brakes"
for the exchane. Unfortunately, it was not specified exactly what constituted
"American-made" automobiles, as NONE of the Ford, GM, or Chrysler products
are totally made in the U.S.  ALL of their products have significant portions
built and/or assembled in Mexico (GM and Ford) and Canada (GM and Chrysler).
Honda Accord has the highest percentage of "American-made" for any car sold
in the U.S. Market.

>one by midnight tonight.  VAN2--Volkswagens Are Nightmares To Work On--
>is a Tuscaloosa, Alabama based organization.

remember, folks: by Midnight tonight. or you turn into a pumpkin.

VAN2 is a purely vindictive group of ex-Faculty members from the University
of Alabama, currently residing at the Taylor Hardin Facility for the
Criminally Insane, P. O. Box 666, Tookalooka, Amabala, 3540shit. Any and all
correspondence will be opened and read. No sharp objects are permitted. Any
sedatives or relaxants would be appreciated.