>Seriously, though, if you're a happy wavin' Eurovan driver, then great.
>I'm just sayin' I NEVER get a wave back from them up here, and that most
>of the drivers look like Yuppie Scum (tm).  I can spot 'em a mile away...
>yakkin' on the cell phone, "Baby on Board" sticker in rear window, power
>suit or power casual clothes, Starbuck's coffee holder to hold Starbuck's
>coffee (latte, actually...), and NOT A DOOB IN THE WHOLE DAMN CAR!
>Degenerates!  How can they live like that!
>
Hey Tobin,
        Ya know, it's a funny thing that happened to me this weekend. I
used to be a wavin' fool (well, I'm at least half right). I had tennis
elbow and didn't even own a racket. I used to drive everywhere in first
gear 'cuz I didn't have the time to put my arm down and shift.

        Then, this weekend, in one moment, it all changed forever. I was
wavin' away on my way down to Starbucks (no one around, but then I might
have missed someone--no use taking chances) when my cell phone flys out of
my hand and knocks into my Grande Mocha; spilling espresso roasted,
caffeinated, chocolaty goodness all over my prized collection of Doobie
Brothers tapes (and you said not a doob in the whole van--ha!) I couldn't
believe it. In a flash of insight I realized the foolish, pointless,
unproductive waste of time embodied by "waving" at total strangers. True,
no diseases could ever spread that way, but my God! I don't even know them!
What was I thinking?

        I'm starting a new user group: Y.A.W.N.--yuppies against waving
needlessly--our time has come. To be a member you must pass the following
simple test:

1. own a Eurovan
2. wish you owned a Eurovan
-or any two of the following-
3. refuse to drink coffee unless it's expensive
4. know what a "grande" is
5. own a cell phone
6. believe that mall-walking is an under-appreciated form of exercise

It's the dawn of a new age. Won't you come y..aw.n. with me?

Jeff