This Old Van

This old van, he played one,
  Slammed his door upon my thumb,
With a clang, bang, golly-dang!
  Boy, it hurt like hell ...
    This old van rolls really well.

This old van, he played two,
  Rolled right back upon my shoe!
With a hot damn! push it, sam!
  Get it off my toes! ...
    This old van just goes and goes.

This old van, he played three,
  Dropped his engine on my knee.
But the x-rays displays
  Showed no damage there ...
    This old van goes anywhere.

This old van, he played four,
  Hit my head with his front door,
But the doc said, when it bled,
  That it wasn't bad ...
     This old van can now be had.

This old van, he played five,
  And it's lucky i'm alive,
Cause I don't drink and I think
  That it's lucky, too ...
    Now this van belongs to you.