I received this from a friend, and I knew that some vanagonaddicts can 
outdo the following w/ even/maybe better (v)analogies.

Subject: Analogies

Have fun with this -- just like a cat that plays with his prey until it's dead
and then decides that he isn't hungry. - Rob

Style Invitational Report from Week 120:

In which we asked you to come up with bad analogies. The results were great,
though we feel compelled to point out that there is a  fine line between an
analogy that is so bad it is good and an analogy that is so good it is bad. See
what we mean.

4th Runner-Up: Oooo, he smells bad, she thought, as bad as Calvin  Klein's
Obsession would smell if it were called Enema and was made  from spoiled
Spamburgers instead of natural floral fragrances.  (Jennifer Frank, Washington,
and Jimmy Pontzer, Sterling)

3rd Runner-Up: The baseball player stepped out of the box and spit  like a
fountain statue of a Greek god that scratches itself a lot  and spits brown,
rusty tobacco water and refuses to sign autographs  for all the little Greek
kids unless they pay him lots of drachmas.  (Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills)

2nd Runner-Up: I felt a nameless dread. Well, there probably is a long German
name for it, like Geschpooklichkeit or something, but I  don't speak German.
Anyway, it's a dread that nobody knows the name  for, like those little square
plastic gizmos that close your bread  bags. I don't know the name for those
either. (Jack Bross, Chevy Chase)

1st Runner-Up: She was as unhappy as when someone puts your cake out in the
rain, and all the sweet green icing flows down and then you lose the recipe,
and on top of that you can't sing worth a damn. (Joseph Romm, Washington)

And the winner of the framed Scarlet Fever sign: His fountain pen  was so
expensive it looked as if someone had grabbed the pope,turned him upside down
and started writing with the tip of his big  pointy hat. (Jeffrey Carl,
Richmond)

Honorable Mentions:  - He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
 (Jack Bross, Chevy  Chase)

- The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when  you fry them
in hot grease. (Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring)

- The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the  Dr. on a Dr
Pepper can. (Wayne Goode, Madison, Ala.)

- He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like  a guy who
went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without  one of those boxes
with a pinhole in it and now goes around the  country speaking at high schools
about the dangers of looking at a  solar eclipse without one of those boxes
with a pinhole in it.  (Joseph Romm, Washington)

- She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle
from screen doors and would fly up whenever you  banged the door open again.
(Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station)

- The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a  bowling
ball wouldn't. (Russell Beland, Springfield)

- McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag  filled with
vegetable soup. (Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring)

- Having O.J. try on the bloody glove was a stroke of genius unseen  since the
debut of Goober on "Mayberry R.F.D". (John Kammer,  Herndon)

- From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an  eerie, surreal
quality, like when you're on vacation in another city  and "Jeopardy" comes on
at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30. (Roy Ashley,  Washington)

- Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
(Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

- Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the  center.
(Russell Beland, Springfield)

- Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access
T:flw.quid>55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quid>aaakk/ch@ung  by mistake
(Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills)

- Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

- Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a  movie this
guy would be buried in the credits as something like  "Second Tall Man." 
(Russell Beland, Springfield)

- Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across  the
grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one  having left
Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other  from Topeka at 4:19 p.m.
at a speed of 35 mph. (Jennifer Hart,  Arlington)

- They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences  that
resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth (Paul Kocak,Syracuse, N.Y.)

- John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who  had also
never met. (Russell Beland,Springfield)

- The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin  sheet of
metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a  play. (Barbara
Fetherolf, Alexandria)

- His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances  like
underpants in a dryer without Cling Free (Chuck Smith,  Woodbridge)

- The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.  (Jennifer
Frank and Jimmy Pontzer, Washington and Sterling)

- After sending in my entries for the Style Invitational, I feel relieved and
apprehensive, like a little boy who has just wet his  bed. (Wayne Goode,
Madison, Ala.)

- You made my day, even a day as gray as white cotton sheets washed for decades
in cold water without bleach like no self-respecting woman who came of age in
the 1940s would allow in her house, much less on one of her beds, but up with
which she must put whenever she visits one of her own daughters, just as if
they had never been brought up right.  (DEV, Madison, Wis)