Fried-Day!
the following was inspired by a post from Gerry, yesterday... we've 
all been there.  apologies to Monty Python and the original 'Argument 
Sketch'

****   The Thermostat Sketch                            

****   transcribed from a tape of the record of                       

****   Monty Python Live at City Center                               
 
 
 
A man walks into Friendly Local Auto Parts Store.
 
Man: Good morning, I'd like to buy an thermostat, please.
Receptionist: Certainly, sir.  Have you been here before?
Man: No, this is my first time.
Receptionist: I see, well we'll see who's free at the moment.
              Mr. Bakely's free, but he's a little bit concilliatory. 
 No.
              Try Mr. Barnhart, room 12.
Customer: Thank you.
 
He enters room 12.
 
Man: WHADDAYOU WANT?
Customer: Well, Well, I was told outside that...
Man: DON'T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED HEAP OF PARROT 
DROPPINGS!
Customer: What?
Man: SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT!  YOUR TYPE MAKES ME 
PUKE!  YOU VACUOUS
   STUFFY-NOSED MALODOROUS PERVERT!!!
Customer: Yes, but I came here for an thermostat!!
Man: OH!  Oh!  I'm sorry!  This is sales!
Customer: Oh!  Oh I see!
Man: Aha!  No, you want room 12A, next door.
Customer: Oh...Sorry...
Man:Not at all!
Man: (under his breath) stupid git.
 
The man goes into room 12A.  Another man is sitting behind a desk.
 
Customer: Is this the right room for a thermostat?
Counterman:(pause) I've told you once.
Customer:  No you haven't!
Counterman: Yes I have.
Customer: When?
Counterman: Just now.
Customer: No you didn't!
Counterman: Yes I did!
Customer: You didn't!
Counterman: I did!
Customer: You didn't!
Counterman: I'm telling you, I did!
Customer: You didn't!
Counterman:  Oh I'm sorry, is this a summer
   thermostat, or the winter?
Customer: Ah!  (taking out his wallet and paying) Just the summer.
Counterman: Just the summer.  Thank you.
   Anyway, I did.
Customer: You most certainly did not!
Counterman: Now let's get one thing perfectly clear: I most 
definitely told you!
Customer: Oh no you didn't!
Counterman: Oh yes I did!            ___
Customer: Oh no you didn't!           >
Counterman: Oh yes I did!                >
Customer: Oh no you didn't!             >
Counterman: Oh yes I did!                  >
Customer: Oh no you didn't!               >
Counterman: Oh yes I did!                    >
Customer: Oh no you didn't!                 >
Counterman: Oh yes I did!                      > very fast
Customer: Oh no you didn't!                 /
Counterman: Oh yes I did!                    /
Customer: No you DIDN'T!                  /
Counterman: Oh yes I did!                  /
Customer: No you DIDN'T!                /
Counterman: Oh yes I did!                /
Customer: No you DIDN'T!              /
Counterman: Oh yes I did!           ___/
Customer: Oh look, this isn't a thermostat!
 
(pause)
 
Counterman: Yes it is!
Customer: No it isn't!
 
(pause)
 
Customer: It's just a gasket!
Counterman: No it isn't!
Customer: It IS!
Counterman: It is NOT!
Customer: You just contradicted me!
Counterman: No I didn't!
Customer: You DID!
Counterman: No no no!
Customer: You did just then!
Counterman: Nonsense!
Customer: (exasperated) Oh, this is futile!!
 
(pause)
 
Counterman: No it isn't!
Customer: Yes it is!
   (pause)
   I came here for a good thermostat!
Counterman: AH, no you didn't, you came here for a *thermostat*!
Customer: A thermostat isn't just a gasket.
Counterman: Well!  it CAN be!
Customer: No it can't!
   A thermostat is temperature regulating device.
Counterman: No it isn't!
Customer: Yes it is!  'tisn't just a gasket.
Counterman: Look, if I *argue* with you, I must take up a contrary 
position!
Customer: Yes but it isn't just saying "no it isn't".
Counterman: Yes it is!
Customer: No it isn't!
Counterman: Yes it is!
Customer: No it isn't!
Counterman: Yes it is!
Customer: No it ISN'T!  Thermostat is a piece of metal.  A Gasket is 
just  paper.
Counterman: It is NOT!
Customer: It is!
Counterman: Not at all!
Customer: It is!
 
>DING!<       The Counterman hits a bell on his desk and stops.
 
Counterman: Thank you, that's it.
Customer: (stunned) What?  That's it?
 

and, well... you get the idea         :)