New York (AP)  Volkswagenwerk AG has announced that it will stop plans
for the widely-hailed "modern Beetle" Concept I car and replace it with
an updated, but still butt-ugly, version of its long-ago mistake,
the Dasher.  "It took us decades to pull the plug on the popular
and easy-to-repair Beetle and replace it with a total dog," said
Hermann Teufelswerke, spokesman for VW, "we won't wait nearly so
long this time."

VW dealers, upset that the inexpensive, reliable Beetle might make a comeback,
are heralding the change.  "We hated that thing, it didn't bring in
the kind of customer we were interested in fleecing," said Dork Luser,
an upstate New York VW dealer, "valve adjusting screws for 50 cents,
where's the profit in that?, now the kind of person interested in
a new Dasher, there's some easy pickings!"

Engine options are expected to include a standard waterboxer
(with VW's famous "self-changing" antifreeze feature), and an
innovative diesel/methane hybrid, which will include a large
fermenting tank to produce the methane.  "Fill it up with
manure, and you're off!" said VW spokesperson Alfred Scheisse,
"just don't actually sit _in_ the car while driving."

Features include seatbelt interlock, standard 8-track/AM radio,
and beanbag chair rear seats.  Colors include brown.

:-)

Mark
mjanello@umich.edu
'62 Kombi