>As a compromise I substitute the word fart with:  phart!  ;^)
>
>(It's not even phriday yet)

old British joke, apprpriate in light of the Phart above, joke to be 
delivered in pompous Brit accent:

Sir! You pharted in front of my wife.
Terribly sorry, I didn't know she was first.

apologies to Gerry for bunging the airwaves,  tim smith