Sit back with your Coke and enjoy my tale of misfortune:

It was a windy spring evening as I arrived home, bag full of goodies 
to change my oil and give the Pioneer a quick tune-up.  I ate 
some "Cheeze" flavored Lay's chips (trust me, the are "Cheeze" 
flavored--not a hint of cheese!), watched Seinfeld and changed 
clothes.  Under the Pioneer I went.  Feeling good inside to once 
again be doing something nice for her.

I unscrewed the various bolts that hold her sump plate on, and out 
flowed that icky dark oil.  As usual running down my arm.  But I was 
not angry, because I knew I'd invested wisely in a new fancy-dancy 
sump plate with drain plug to put back on in place of my old tired 
plug-less sump plate.

I noted something odd as I wiped the remaining oil off the old sump 
plate.  A layer of what looks like metal particles.  Looks like 
aluminum.  I've not noticed this before.  Then again it's been quite 
a while since I did my own oil change on her.  Any ideas?

I opened the new gasket kit, noting that they've gotten crummier.  
The cardboard gaskets are even thinner than before.  What next?  
Paper?

I put on the gaskets, cleaned off the oil screen and proceeded to 
install the new chrome sump plate (with plug!)  I tightened down the 
six bolts in a logical criss-cross pattern.  I guess I've changed one 
too many tires.  As I was finishing the last bolt, tighter and 
tighter, SNAP!

Ratchet knocks off my glasses, nose bleed ensues.  I feel sick inside 
knowing I might have done something really serious.  I hope that stud 
comes out, I say to myself...

I get out the old channel locks and start to twist it out.  It works 
its way and stops.  Oh no I think.  I find the VERY WELL HIDDEN 
flashlight from inside the house, noting what I nice guy I am for 
lubing the doorknobs with my oily hands.

I point it up into the hole to see what I have.  Oh, a nut is on the 
top of the stud.  It looks like the stud holds this little black 
guard in place.  So I spend twenty minutes with my baby 10mm crecent 
wrench halfway gripping the nut, and my channel locks eating the bolt 
and finally get it all undone.  I can't get my fingers in to pull the 
nut off of the edge of the sump hole, and I DON'T want to push it 
back into the engine, so I use that silly 10mm to gingerly work it 
out.

So as we sit, it's off to the parts store to get a new stud and try 
to put it back together.  Getting that nut back on should be the 
funnest thing this side of my dentist visit yesterday!

BTW, I've been a Pennzoil SAE 30 man since the day I bought the bus, 
and yesterday all my parts place had was Castrol 30.  I bought it.  I 
still feel uneasy about it.  My only experience with another brand 
oil was the fiasco with Valvoline Synthetic.  ACK.   Anyone else out 
there running Castrol?  Good?  Bad?  Ugly?

- Mike White 

[Mail: mike.white@law.utah.edu   -   mwhite@eng.utah.edu]
Visit my '57 23-Window VW BUS at: [http://cloud8.law.utah.edu/]