

| Subject: | deer (true story) |
| From: | Mark M. Schirmer |
| Date: | Thu, 9 May 1996 14:11:04 -0400 (EDT) |
I'm sure a lot of you have seen "Cabin Boy" with Chris Elliot (I've been told I look like him...). You'd think we'd learn from a stupid story about putting a deer in the car even though it wasn't dead... Driving along I84 near Middletown NY on my way to CT for thanksgiving, the traffic in front of me suddenly stopped. I was confused for a moment until I saw a deer lying between the two lanes. I pulled over, as did another guy. We pulled the deer to the side and determined it was still alive, although we figured it was well on its way out. The other guy said he'd take the deer, but he didn't have his truck, so I told him I'd take it. We pulled it over to my bus and tied its legs with the rope I always carry for just such cases. As he helped me put it in the "living room" the deer started bucking furiously. Among the things I was carrying was my newly restored Mittenwald cello, which was also in said "living room," and being pummeled by an angry young buck. I grabbed the cello and ran. In the mean time the deer had bucked its way out of the bus, and we stood around, scratching our heads for a while. I've never been so glad to see the Highway Patrol fire up those lights (except for the time a fuzzy picked off a BMW which was tailgating me- the look on the driver's face was priceless, as I read his lips in my mirror exclaiming: "OH F**K!") Anyway, the cop put two slugs in the deer's head (coups de grace), and after a short stop at the Patrol Station for a deer tag (so as I wouldn't get arrested in a spot check), I arrived at my parent's place saying "Dad, guess what I brought." I hope this story does not offend anyone out there, but the point is, I was glad the animal didn't go to waste, especially since it was for man-made reasons that it lost its life. My family and friends feasted for many months, and the skin will make a nice rug for my bus, but the blood still stains the floor insulation (I hadn't installed the carpet at the time)... Mark 85 Retrowesty
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