>Date: Wed, 11 Dec 1996 00:44:07 -0500
>From: VWMANX@aol.com
>To: jake@eurekanet.com, ae673@seorf.ohiou.edu, 74503.3164@compuserve.com,
>        fancher@ix.netcom.com (joncee.fancher), Porsche-Joerg@t-online.de,
>        slapschy@digi.e-technik.uni-kassel.de, mmclewis@meginc.com,
>        dclewis@seidata.com, lm.sjk@erinet.com, strtbug@ibm.net,
>        "inartctr"@inetdirect.net (indianapolisartcenter)
>Subject: Fwd: FWD>reindeers (fwd) - As sc
>
>whhoosh..
>Watch out for them there flyin' deer parts
>---------------------
>Forwarded message:
>From:	David_Helland@cpqm.mail.saic.com (David Helland)
>To:	lagrange@adnc.com (Linda La Grange), VWMANX@aol.com (Types OHIO),
>Tamara_Beasley@cpqm.mail.saic.com (Tamara Beasley),
>Ralph_Carolin@cpqm.mail.saic.com (Ralph Carolin),
>Jean_Conrad@cpqm.mail.saic.com (Jean Conrad),=
 Rick__Doyle@cpqm.mail.saic.com
>(Rick Doyle), Steve_Freyder@cpqm.mail.saic.com (Steve Freyder),
>Sarah_Helland@cpqm.mail.saic.com (Sarah Helland),
>Mark_Hunt@cpqm.mail.saic.com (Mark Hunt), DeeDee_Jones@cpqm.mail.saic.com
>(DeeDee Jones), Tom_Kiester@cpqm.mail.saic.com (Tom Kiester),
>Sandy_Lyon@cpqm.mail.saic.com (Sandy Lyon), Peter_Pyrune@cpqm.mail.saic.com
>(Peter Pyrune), Jeff_Schramm@cpqm.mail.saic.com (Jeff Schramm)
>Date: 96-12-10 17:27:22 EST
>
>Mail*Link=AE SMTP               FWD>reindeers (fwd) - As science sees=
 them...
>
>
>
>IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS?
>=20
>
>As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, and with research help=
 from
>that renown scientific journal SPY magazine (January, 1990) - I am pleased=
 to
>present the annual scientific inquiry into Santa Claus.
>=20
>
>1)  No known species of reindeer can fly.  BUT there are 300,000 species of
>living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects
>and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only=
 Santa
>has ever seen.
>=20
>
>2)  There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world.
>BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and
>Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378
>million according to Population Reference Bureau.  At an average (census)
>rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes.  One=
 presumes
>there's at least one good child in each.
>=20
>
>3)  Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different
>time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west
>(which seems logical).  This works out to 822.6 visits per second.
>This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa
>has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the
>chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the
>tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back
>into the sleigh and move on to the next house.  Assuming that each of these
>91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of=
 course,
>we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will=
 accept),
>we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2
>million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least=
 once
>every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.
>=20
>
>This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000
>times the speed of sound.  For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-=
 made
>vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per
>second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
>=20
>
>4)  The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element.  Assuming
>that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds),
>the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably
>described as overweight.  On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more
>than 300 pounds.  Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could
>pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even
>
>nine.  We need 214,200 reindeer.  This increases the payload - not even
>counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons.
>Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen=
 Elizabeth.
>=20
>
>5)  353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air
>resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as
>spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere.  The lead pair of reindeer
>will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy.  Per second.  Each.  In=
 short,
>they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer
>behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake.
>The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a
>second.  Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces=
 17,500.06
>times greater than gravity.  A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously=
 slim)
>would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
>=20
>
>In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's
>dead now.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>