[ forwards forwarded elsewhere ]

I have a mailing list @ my local ISP.  They have been having problems with
the server, so the admin made a mailing list of the mailing list owners,
something like 'maillistowners'

He has made a few announcements lately telling us what is going on, and so
forth.

They finally seem to have gotten it working, and he sent a piece of humor
"How many mailing list members does it take to change a light bulb" which
discussed the various and sundry stupid things people will do:

<begin>

Q: How many list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1,331:

  1 to change the light bulb and to post to the list that the light bulb
    has been changed.

 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the
    light bulb could have been changed differently.

  7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

 27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing
    light bulbs.

 53 to flame the spell checkers

156 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb
    discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.

 41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.

109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take
    this email exchange to alt.lite.bulb

203 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and
    alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.

111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs
    and therefore the posts **are** relevant to this mail list.

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior,
    where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs
    work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty.

 27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs

 14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to post
    corrected URLs.

  3 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to
    this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list.

 33 to summarize all posts to date, then quote them including all headers
    and footers, and then add "Me Too."

 12 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot
    handle the light bulb controversy.

 19 to quote the "Me Too's" to say, "Me Three."

 4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.

 1 to propose new alt.change.lite.bulb newsgroup.

 47 to say this is just what alt.physic.cold_fusion was meant for,
    leave it here.

 143 votes for alt.lite.bulb.

<end>

I, who should have know better, posted a follow-up of a few bits I
thought were missing from the list

 You forgot a few:

 27 to post in HTML because they are using the IE or Netscape that had it
    turned on by default and are too clueless to look

 48 to complain about the HTML posts

 27 to post 'sorry I didn't realize it was on' -- in HTML

 96 to complain about more HTML and post detailed instructions on how to
    change the setting

 58 to mumble something about using a web browser to read mail

 12 MIME posts with useless colors and bolds saying thanks for the help
    with the HTML mail

  1 to post a GIF/JPG of the lightbulb hanging too close to their
    digital camera.

  1 complaint from the guy using /usr/ucb/Mail who wants to know what
    the *@&(%$!@ has been going on

 58 to complain about the binary post

 74 to say they liked the binary and didn't mind it

  1 post about how you can MAKE MONEY FAST!!!!! by selling lightbulbs and
    this report available for only $5.

1328 to reply to the list with the full spam attached and then put
     'remove' at the end

  3 to flame the other morons for replying to the spammer and CCing
    the list

  1 from the list admin notifying that the list is looking for a bigger
    server to handle the load

There have now been several followups:

 "How did I get on this list?"

 "How do I get off this list?"

 "REMOVE"

 "REMOVE
 UNSUB
 SIGNOFF
 REMOVE
 TAKE ME OFF THIS LIST"

 "unsubribe" [sic]

 "Morons, you have to send it to the majordomo address"

 "How am I supposed to know that?"

If it wasn't so pitiful, it would be funny.

\\\\////\\\\////\\\\\////\\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\
Frank Terhaar-Yonkers
Cisco Systems, Inc.
7025 Kit Creek Road  PO Box 14987
Research Triangle Park,  North Carolina  27709
fty@cisco.com   voice (919)472-2101   FAX (919)472-2940