Freitag Spass :~)

First I want to thank all those on the list who have delved to the very
depth of their experience and knowledge on the more subtle nuances
inherent in this most complex of problems: the stink'n blink'n ignition
light. Having collated, serialized and done a regressive analysis on the
statistically significant sample size supplied by our fellow list
members, I am happy to report that we have the definitive answer ... a
little known ECU function, the GF regulator.

The key to the solution was in realizing that whereas the stink'n
blink'n ignition light has no relationship with the ignition operation
it has a very important function in GF regulation. If you recall the
discussion a few weeks ago about the bad cold solder problems on the ECU
board, well that was the GF chip. It can get overheated on those vans
where the driver waits too long for the stink'n blink'n ignition light
to go out. The designers never envisioned that drivers would waits so
long and under designed the external cooling fins on the ECU.

The GF chip has no direct influence on the engine management system. It
does nothing more than calculate the delayed time delta between turning
the ignition key and starting the engine. When your van is undergoing
servicing at a VW licensed establishment, the technician uploads the
accumulated RMS delayed time delta, or GF quotient, directly into their
parts billing system. The GF quotient is not only applied directly to
your bill but is pooled with all other clients' GF quotients and form an
integral component of VW's part pricing policy and has, in significant
years, appeared in VW's financial annual report.

If you do not know your GF, ask the service technician the next time you
pay your bill. I did, and my GF (Gullibility Factor) is 7 but I haven't
noticed any significant fuel savings yet.

Thanks guys/gals,
Larry Johnson