I hope I'm not overposting my welcome.

The sign in a Norwegian lounge reads:
>      > LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR
>      >
>      > Tacked on the door of a Moscow hotel room:
>      > IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE U.S.S.R.,
>      > YOU ARE WELCOME TO  IT.
>      >
>      > An airline ticket office in Copenhagen reminds you:
>      > WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
>      >
>      > In a certain African hotel you may choose between:
>      > A ROOM WITH A VIEW ON THE SEA OR THE BACKSIDE
>      > OF THE COUNTRY
>      >
>      > A sign on a clothing store in Brussels read:
>      > COME INSIDE AND HAVE A FIT
>      >
>      > A hotel notice in Madrid informs:
>      > IF YOU WISH DISINFECTION ENACTED IN YOUR
>      > PRESENCE, PLEASE CRY OUT FOR THE CHAMBERMAID.
>      >
>      > In the window of a Swedish furrier the message reads:
>      > FUR COATS MADE FOR LADIES FROM THEIR OWN SKIN.
>      >
>      > A Polish hotel informs prospective visitors in a flyer:
>      > AS FOR THE TROUT SERVED YOU AT THE HOTEL MONOPOL,
>      > YOU WILL BE SINGING ITS PRAISES TO YOUR GRANDCHILDREN
>      > AS YOU LIE ON YOUR DEATHBED.
>      >
>      > A Seville tailor makes clear how he will handle commissions:
>      > ORDER NOW YOUR SUMMER SUIT. BECAUSE IS BIG
>      > RUSH WE WILL EXECUTE CUSTOMERS IN STRICT ROTATION
>      >
>      > A dentist's doorway in Istanbul proclaims:
>      > AMERICAN DENTIST, 2TH FLOOR. TEETH EXTRACTED BY
>      > LATEST METHODISTS.
>      >
>      > Some German hospitals now display the sign:
>      > NO CHILDREN ALLOWED IN THE MATERNITY WARDS.
>      >
>      > A Roman medical doctor proclaims himself a:
>      > SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES
>      >
>      > The sign at the concierge's desk in an Athens hotel reads:
>      > IF YOU CONSIDER OUR HELP IMPOLITE, YOU SHOULD
>      > SEE THE MANAGER
>      >
>      > A sign in a Kowloon hotel warns:
>      > IS FORBIDDEN TO STEAL HOTEL TOWELS. PLEASE IF
>      > YOU ARE NOT PERSON TO DO SUCH IS PLEASE NOT
>      > TO READ NOTICE.
>      >
>      > Visitors in Czechoslovakia were invited by the tourist agency
to:
>
>      > TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS - WE
>      > GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.
>      >
>      > A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest reads:
>      > IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE
>      > THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND
>      > WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE
>      > MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THAT PURPOSE.
>      >
>      > A London eaterie advertised for help this way:
>      > WANTED : MAN TO WASH DISHES AND TWO WAITRESSES